As I scrolled down my facebook profile page, I felt a strange sense of alienation to the details, descriptions of myself, of my interests, and all the comments from friends that were begging to hold significance as I scrolled by them. One thing I realized was that previously this morning, as I was going through them and commenting back to a girl from CNU, is that there is no fullness there at all, no warmth or truth. I kept thinking that I must think of the right thing to say, and I was resistant to the feelings of lack which arose in me while I was engrossed in this whole game of performing and competing for who could be the best, get the most girls, be the coolest, the most liked.
So I think this realization came to me because throughout this experience I still realized my perfection but I wasn’t getting any lasting peace from it. The problem was that I was forgetting the holistic perfection that this entire facebook game, popularity game, get the most sex game, was merely a part of. I was completely absorbed by it—an egoic-made world that begged for my effort and total attention. I needed to step back from it, realize where I actually was—in a peaceful quiet room with myself on a beautiful day.
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